Daddy Questions

Daddy Questions: A single mom’s (who returned to college and got her BA) most difficult subject!

After his nightly prayer, Zuko asked if he could ask me two questions.

Of course I said yes, and thought it would be the same old requests for his bff to spend the night, or if he could play his video games the next day. 

I wAs WrOnG…

“Moma how did my daddy die?”

[Woooooaaaaaa!]  A battle began between my racing mind and my face that fought to keep calm.  [Is it that time already??? It better not be cuz I’m not ready…….. what to say? what to do? .. Ok, Moma be calm…]

“He was very sick and sad.  He could not be strong anymore.” I said with a calm voice. I had already explained to Zuko a few years ago that his dad was very sick and died from his sickness.  This of course is true from a spiritual and psychological standpoint. I added the “sad” part for some unknown reason….

“Was he sad because he didn’t know if I would be a good boy?”

[Oh God, pleeeease help me through this!  Why did I say he was sad!?]

“Your daddy’s sickness has nothing to do with you.” I said as I placed my hands on his soft cheeks.  “He loved you very much, and yes he was sad that he could not be with us, but your daddy’s sickness had nothing to do with us.  He was already sick when you were born, and your daddy knew you were a good boy.  You were such a good baby from the moment you were born.  Everyone, who met you, would say ‘what a good baby you are.’ ”

“So then, what did he die from?”

At this point I let out a huge breath.  I am not ready to tell him the complete truth, and I don’t know what else I can tell him without having to tell him a lie or just blurting out the truth –neither of which will ever happen. 

 I must have had a look on my face, because before I could think of what to say next, Zuko said, “I am too young to understand.” 

All I could do was say, Yes, and promised that when he was old enough I would tell him.

It seems this was enough for now, but someday I will have to tell him the ugly truth -something I dread everyday. 

Read what really happened here.  I don’t know how my posts got placed on this site, but they are… The posts are from a blog I had a few months ago, when I was just trying out blogging.  I have since close that blog and opened this one…

Since the post talks about it…Here is My Testimony also found on that other site…???

Please remember to leave your comments here

b/c I have no contorl of that other site.

Click the Siggie Below to visit me @ Single MOMA Diaries.

  Blessings.