Break on Through!

Signing my son up for the “Big brother” program has got to be 1 of the best things I could have done for Zuko.

Last Month, while he washed dishes, he gathered his courage and asked me the question, that had been haunting him since late Dec 2009.

“Moma” he said as he stared sadly at the cup he was drying. “Is HBB (short for what the women around me call him “Hot Big Brother”) done?”

“Done? What do you mean by ‘done?'” I said, almost egging him on.

“You know, Done.  Done like….”  he paused abruptly, and lowered his head in shame.  At that moment, I knew it was time. He was ready.

In 2006-07, I dated someone, and allowed Zuko to become acquainted with him.  They had previously met before we were dating at my college many times, and hit it off quite well.  Also, sitters are hard to come by, so I let convenience take the upper hand, and the two became great buddies.  He was the first man that Zuko can recall being in his life.  But of course as things didn’t work out, Zuko blamed me, when the X (Voldemort or better known as “He who must not be named”) stopped calling and visiting him -which was promised (by him) wouldn’t happen. Zuko would yell @ me in the most pained voice, that I messed up his chance of having a daddy.  Of course, this killed me.  Although “He who must not be named”  was good w/ Zuko, he was controlling and a bit abusive with me, using Scripture as his weapon of choice to claim obedience to his demands.

…the poor foolish controlling little man had no idea who he was dealing with!   Never mess with a Christian scholar, who is first a single mother by choice!!!

Zuko was extremely hurt by Voldemort “forgetting” him; I had to forbid anyone from so much as saying his name, thus becoming “He who must not be named.”  Every time I tried to comfort Zuko or talk to him about what happened, he would become enraged and yell,  kicking or throw things.  His pain affected his behavior in school, @ home, and in sports. Allowing them to meet and become close was the worst decision I have made as a mother, but leaving him makes the top 5 on the list of the best things.

Praise God!!!  I can say in 2010 we have finally turned back around and are full force toward the end of the healing journey.   I put him in counseling with a wonderful male professor of mine right away, which after 3yrs is not needed anymore. I placed him in a different school, because his teachers at the time made him a permanent home in the principal’s office, so they wouldn’t have to deal with him.  Which of course, Zuko interpreted as them “not liking” him.  Last year, he regained his love for learning, because he learned his teacher cared about him and his feelings.  << so important.  She was heaven sent!  Also, as soon as I was able to, I signed up Zuko for a Big brother.  December 2008 was when the prayer for a male role model/buddy was answered.

Now back to Jan 2010.  It had been a while since Zuko and HBB had a chance to get together, due to HBB’s traveling for work and the holidays.  January was coming to an end, and Zuko had not talked to HBB, and he was getting a little nervous.

“Done like who?” I asked knowing what he was thinking, and hoping he had the courage to say it out loud.

“I can’t say,” he said frustrated, “because I don’t want to get in trouble.”

That was it, that was my cue to finally have the conversation he previously wasn’t ready for, the conversation he wouldn’t even acknowlege in counseling.

“You mean Voldemort?” I asked in a nonchalant tone.

Zuko finally looked up from the cup, that was obviously dry 10min ago, and looked me in the eyes with astonishment, and said “yes.”

It had been 3yrs and no one has uttered his name once.  Zuko just looked @ me, waiting eagerly for my reply.

“Zuko, Voldemort was not a ‘good man.'” I said, After I silently prayed for words to speak. “A good man, does not make promises to people that he doesn’t intend the keep. But HBB, on the other hand, is a ‘good man.’  He always keeps his promises to you, and if he can’t keep it, because of work, he always lets us know.”

“But moma, what if HBB is done.” Zuko replied urgently. “It was a year in December, and the Big Brother people said, after a year HBB must decide if he wants to be done.”

“Well Zuko, HBB didn’t contact us to say ‘goodbye’  and he always lets us know if he can’t make it.  HBB doesn’t have to be a ‘Big brother,” but he is, because he chose to be one.  He chose to be your ‘Big brother,’ because he cares about you.  So don’t you think he would say bye if he didn’t want to be a ‘Big brother’ anymore.  Remember, he is a good man.  Just because Voldemort didn’t say bye, doesn’t mean all men don’t say goodbye.”

He thought on this for a while.  Then I continued on to remind Zuko that we were busy with the holidays and HBB’s work keeps him busy, and then I promised him that HBB would contact us when he had the chance.

It only took 2days for HBB to e-mail.  He was very upset that he didn’t get to see Zuko for Christmas, and that it took him so long to get a moment to contact us.

I told Zuko right away that HBB e-mailed… Zuko’s reply, “HBB is a good man, and Voldemort wasn’t.”

I wept.

Then thanked HBB for not being so prompt on contacting us, because it gave me the opportunity I had been praying for to help Zuko see that he is important, and what Voldemort did by disregarding him was not ok.

HBB wept.

Since that day, Zuko has completely let go of the pain he held for the last 3yrs.  He is my joyful son again, who isn’t afraid that myself or anyone else is going to leave him.  He also knows that he matters, and that I had his best at heart when I ended things with Voldemort.

I am so thankful to God and HBB for their faithfulness.

Thank You Jesus for The Big Brother/ Big Sister Program, and for the people like HBB, who take time out of their busy life to be in a hurting child’s life. Amen.

ps. Zuko had to make a personal mail box today for school, and under his name he wrote “A Good Man” as the address.

New Moon Adventures

I am not going to dwell on the dreadful past months, because I am ready to move forward and onward…

BUT…                 (I love BIG buts)

I can’t step out into the New Year until I share a bit of my NEW MOON Adventures!!!

I am going to start it off with my son’s favorite family time choice…

THE HiLLYWOOD SHOW

One day, last year I was on youtube looking for any footage of my friends and I at the Twilight LA premiere Nov 2008; and found a brilliantly made parody of Twilight.  Well as you may or may not know I am for sure Twi-hard!!  The Hindi sisters’ talent is off the grid, so I investigated their page and found Nevada’s real jackpot.

Hurray for HiLLYWOOD!

Zuko and I watch The Hillywood Show often.  It is one of the things he can choose to do for our family time after homework is finished.

Zuko is a huge Jack Sparrow fan!  We love Hillary as Jack and Willy Wonka.   We are also Star Wars Addicts, so The Hillywood Show is a great combo w/ an extra side of fries (teHee).  I suggest you check them out and start from the beginning… you will be awed by the talent of these two ladies.

So why do I bring them up??

1. Because their New Moon Parody just has to be shared, and

2. We met the cast at a local charity event for SD’s annual Mother Goose Parade.

Hillywood and Zuko

Zuko is very shy unless he is on stage. We paid for the “Star Treatment” and let him walk the red carpet.. Lets just say he was a natural…LOL

But when it was time to meet the cast of The Hillywood Show, he became star struck and forgot his age, when they asked him …lol  We got their autographs, and he stared at that piece of paper for 3 days.

Then came the L.A. premiere of New Moon!

Of Course we had to make another trip to L.A. but this time things were different this year because the “crazy people” came up days early to see the cast.  We had to come up the night before, which was extremely early, unlike last year. At Twilight’s premiere we showed up at 2pm the day of, and met so many actors and singers. I shook hands with Peter Facinelli & my friend got a wave from Jeffrey Dean Morgan (only because she was climbing the rails and screaming so loud I think the Pope heard her in Italy).

So we squatted on the sidewalk as soon as we got there.. which was about 10pm.

Sleeping on the sidewalk

But one of my girls decided it would be a better idea to get a room, since camping was not her thing…lol

The line to get a wrist band and possibly meet the stars was ridiculously long.  It was 20 blocks long maybe more, and we were about 20 people behind the last to get wrist bands.  I left the line to find a “just in case” spot, which became our best bet, because someone yelled out, “they’re not giving anymore bands out!” And the crowd went frantic and made a run for the theater.  I hear it was a huge mob of screaming moms, daughters, & grandmas -but I missed it =(

One of my friends has a shattered iPhone because of the crazy stampede.  But in the end it was a blast, and we got tons of pix of all the stars, and a few waves from our favorite stars and famous fans.

Here are a couple of my proof pix from New Moon Premiere…

Twi-Squaters w/ Signs

Taylor

Rob

These are my favorite below!!!

Someone pointing Peter to OUR sign

He found us!

Jeffrey Dean Morgan Waving to us again this year ❤

It was such a blast!  We met new Twi-hard fans again this year.. and this year they were from SD, also …lol

I know it looks a bit obsessed, but I love the books, and SD is so close to LA… I figured if we don’t do it now -then when?  It is always in the spirit of fun, not stalking celebs.

The Twilight series has started a huge sort of book club for me and my family/friends.   We have all fallen in love with either a wolf, vampire, or both. Mainly because we are all Christian women, with hearts that skip a beat for moral, passionate, and gorgeous men (heeX3)

My aunts, cousins, friends and I deepened our bond through the Twilight book series, and some of us have moved on to another fun and exciting fantasy series -The Mortal Instruments.

2010 holds many more adventures… Eclipse movie Premiere and a spin off book from The Mortal Instruments series =)

I am very excited!  2010 here I come!!!

Barber Shop

I grew up surrounded by boys.  I have 4 brothers, and all my friends were guys.  I did have 1 or 2 friends that were girls, but they hung with the guys too.

So I am used to guys going to the barber shop once a week to make sure their skin fade was hooked up

…but once I became a stylist; I never thought my child would go to a barber =/

His entire life Zuko has had a cool hairstyle.  He has had all the long lengths of a fade, spikes, mohawks, liberty spikes, messy skater… etc

He has also had the best products a salon can offer, including the many different colors of Spiker…

… so why is it, my son wants to go to a barber?

“I don’t want a style,” he says. “I want a cool boy cut.”

I have to admit I have been fighting him on this.  He believes a boy cut is pretty much a buzz, but he would settle for short spikes.

I wanted him to grow his hair long and wear it a little messy.  But of course his “cool” isn’t the same as my “cool,” and since I’m a “girl” I don’t know what boys think is “cool.”  Except I cut all types of different boy/men styles that are “in” on a daily basis.

It has been a week or two since we had this discussion and I have been trying to convince him to wait till his hair has grown past the awkward “Bruce Lee”stage (that I am kinda liking), but he was set in his decision, so I called up a barber friend of mine.

I guess it is time to let the boy get a taste of “being a man” and giving  him the control of how he is presented to the world.

I say stylish.

He says short and easy.

It seems little by little he is showing me that he really isn’t my a baby anymore.  First with the nickname change, and now his hair.  *tear.

I know it isn’t a big deal, but his look -especially his hair- was my thing.  He never cared about those things, so now that he does… I can’t help pushing down the feelings that he is growing up too fast and will soon be a man.  I know I am getting ahead of myself.

I know all moms go through this.  Yet, not all moms are single moms.  Since day 1 it has been Zuko and I, and no one else.

So tonight my thoughts and prayers go out to all those moms who are completely doing this on their own, and are approaching or on the steep up hill of the inevitable journey down the hill of  >>  learning to let go.

Blessings.

Nica

ps.. I’ll post before and after pix soon.

2010 Time to Begin

Be a light! Matthew 5:13-16

Satin was on a roll in the battle of 2009.

Last year was supposed to be the next step in the staircase of God’s plan.

June of 09 was the end of my sabbatical year, and the following semester the plan was to begin Grad school.  Well…  in June 09 my car blew starting a trend of  financial and emotional burdens that followed well into December 09.

I knew all along that God would make a way and bring me through it, and yet  >> I let the enemy place a road block in my path, and dim my light.

Here it is the beginning of 2010 and I’m not starting my second semester in Grad school, and the stress of it all darkened my ability to be a light for those around me.

I am blessed to say that after the many trials I have faced these last 8yrs;  my faith is well placed, and here I am into the next season,  with a “new to me” car, a new Notebook, and hopefully on a up hill path.

So what am I rambling about???

This past Christmas season I began to ponder what it was that caused my light to become dim, and in conclusion >> I realized due to those trials from the past years the walls that protect my faith have been slowly crumbling.  I have been fatigued in my walk for a few years now.

This may not make sense, but it is something I learn in an Old Testament  course in College.  Pretty much, back in the day,  huge walls would be created around a city to protect its people and kingdom.  The wall was the strongest defense they had against enemies.  When Jerusalem was taken into captivity, the wall of the city were burned and pretty much destroyed along with the temple.  Later the temple was rebuilt, but the wall was not, allowing the city to be vulnerable.  The book of Nehemiah is about the rebuilding of the city walls.

This is the book God has returned me to.  It is time to rebuild my hedge of protection.

I want to be like the Godly women of my Grandmother’s day: Trials come and they are relaxed and praise God (the relax part I don’t have down), but their lights do not go dim, instead it shines brighter.

That is the testimony I wish I could bring you, but it isn’t.

That is the woman of God I hope to be >> Lord Willing!

No I won’t be perfect at it, and I know those women were not either, but this is my hearts desire.  This is the picture of the disciples after they finally “got it.”

This will take a lot of prayer and hard work.  The rebuilding has been in need and on halt for so long, since my church closed. But God has provided a New Break in the foundation of  this Temple, and I am in need of your help.

No one can do anything alone, that is why He never forsakes us.  Any prayer on my behalf would be greatly appreciated.  God has so many things in the works in regard to my spiritual life that will reach down into my son’s life, and I have never taken on so much a one time. I am no longer a baby Christian, it is time to mature and grow again.

I would love to pray for you as well.  Please feel free to twitter, myspace, or e-mail me.

It is time to live in the JOY of salvation.  I will no longer linger on the past, that is the promise I hope you keep me to.  It is time t move forward and leave the past were it belongs… in the past.

As a wise old turtle once said,

Blessings and HugZ

(note: if you e-mail please put something int he subject line to let me know you are not spam, thanx)

Quick Updates and New Moon

WOW!  What a year it has been…. 

First my car blows up, and then my laptop falls and dies.   It may sound strange to most, the love of writing your drama online and sharing it with anyone who pops in, but being able to look at my life from an outside perspective has been the best therapy.  Now that I don’t have it, the trials seem a bit more cloudy.  

But today I have a few minutes to share with you all.  I have to first say: I miss those of you who visit me and comment on a regular basis.  I really miss commenting on all my single mama and Christian friends’ blogs.  I keep up with most of you on my Wii, but it won’t let me leave comments.  

I wish I could head over to everyone’s neck of the blogosphere-woods, but I am soon leaving to LA to join my friends in Twi-stalking.   The New Moon Hollywood premiere is coming up, and as far as I know >>>we are a few days late.  I hope to get more pictures than last year!  Yes that’s right, I’m one of those crazy Twilight fans, who stalk the actors at cool event.  Ha Ha Ha!   I am going to be on a crazy coffee high, so I don’t miss a thing =)    I will for sure get someone to post the pix here, so you all can share in the fun.

And guess what…!!!

We are driving up in MY NEW (to me) Car! Yes, my son’s uncle (on his father’s side) gave me his old car.  It isn’t one I would pick  from the lot,  but now that I have been driving it >> I am luv’N it.  It is automatic (I’m a Stick kind o’ girl), but that baby has power!!!  I have to keep my eye on the speedometer =)

Also, I am no longer a church orphan!!   YAY!   My girl, Hollywood and I have a crush on this beautiful church family a few miles down the freeway.  We have been looking fr so long, it was almost a shock to actually find a church that we both enjoy.  The sanctuary is small, but the church is mega mega… so there is much opportunity to grow and serve.   And the ChERRY ON TOP >> my son loves the children’s ministry!  This is an exciting adventure.  

Speaking of Adventure…..

It is time to leave to LA.  I wish I had more time to send with you all. 

Blessings

Twi-stalkers here we come!!!!!

 

Can of Worms

Fall is finally here! 

I love the colder season ❤  So in the spirit of a new season, I decided it would be a nice time to finish unpacking my apt. and clean my son’s room. 

In theory this is a good idea, but in reality…………………… Aaaaah!

Now that Zuko is 8, I figured he was old enough for some light chores.  I have been trying to teach him “Big Boy” responsibilities.

 

Love my New Dish Washer!

I can’t express how nice it is to have a dish washer again…

As soon as Zuko learned to walk I taught him to pick up his toys, but it seems that lesson has sadly been forgotten.   Every night at 6pm I tell Zuko to pick up his toys and clean his room…. to my surprise his ears heard, “throw all your toys in the closet, and make sure the closet doors are warped by the pressure pushing them off the hinges.” 

Strange -I know =/   But I guess the two statements sound the same…???

Since it is Fall cleaning time, I decided to grab my courage and take on that closet!  Zuko’s job was to clear out the closet, and my job was to organize it.

This is what we ended up with….

The closet after I took off the doors and organized it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Zuko did his job too, he cleared out the closet.......

So as you can see I have opened a huge Can of Worms!

Someday my efforts will be seen… The pic to the right is 2 days of sifting through the toys and putting things away…!!! 

But hey -You gotta start somewhere  0.O

 At least my dishes are clean ;D

 

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On the Cross

Every night before he goes to bed, my precious Zuko talks to our Glorious LORD.  These past few weeks have been nights to remember. 

Last Sunday, Zuko made a necklace in Sunday school.  He wore it proudly, and told me it represents what Jesus did on the cross for us.  He told me that Jesus died, so we can go to heaven. 

[WORD!]

This little boy has had such a profound understanding of God’s will for as long as I can remember.  At his age I had no clue about God and His ways.  I barely began to comprehend the things of the Spiritual realm at the age of 21… when my son was born.  All I knew was that Jesus was God’s son, and born of the virgin Mary, and that he died on the cross for our sins: I didn’t truly understand what it meant.  My grandma would always tell me to put it on the cross; and I would think, put what? how? and why?

When Zuko was born he used to smile and coo at the walls, which might not mean much.  I used to say he was talking to his guardian angels.  Maybe it wasn’t far from the truth…?  Those little gibberish wall conversations would last 10-15min, and little Zuko was content the entire time. 

Later, when he was 5, he began to tell me that God told him this or that.

Once he came running out of his room in a panic, telling me God said we had to pray because the world was going to turn upside down.  I kind of freaked at this, because Revelations popped into my head, and I knew he was not aware of that book yet.  He would also tell my ex-boyfriend that God told him, he (the ex) had better be nice to Moma or he (the ex) would not be allowed into our family.  This truth, played out. 

Later that same year, he told me the devil told him to be bad, but God told him to be good, so he said to them he was going to do what God says.  I was glad to hear he chose to follow God, but it is a bit alarming to hear my baby say the devil was talking to him. 

Zuko doesn’t say things like this anymore, but he does still pray.  I think as he has become older, his innocents has become less and it is more difficult for him to hear His voice.  The break up with my ex-boyfriend broke my son’s heart, and since then his chats with God have become more stale.  This event was the most painful experience in his young life, and changed him severely.

But  (YES!  Thank God for A Big BUT)

Last week, when my son made the necklace, his heart was full, and he prayed the most beautiful prayer for the salvation of my atheist brothers.  My son’s focus was on my younger brother, who has no foundation in the Lord.  When my parent’s divorce, my younger brother was lost in the mess, and can not remember going to church or our life before the separation.  This brother is very angry and takes out most of his anger on my son am myself.  The torture he lays on Zuko almost makes me “lose my religion.”  The harsh treatment and words are unspeakable, and pain us (Zuko and I) immensely.

Hearing my son pray for my brother, who is like an enemy to him, was one of the most beautiful sounds I have heard in my almost 30yrs.  Last weekend, Zuko’s words were strong, passionate, and forgiving; something my son has never previously felt towards my brother. 

He put it all on the cross.

I wept.

 

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Daddy Questions

Daddy Questions: A single mom’s (who returned to college and got her BA) most difficult subject!

After his nightly prayer, Zuko asked if he could ask me two questions.

Of course I said yes, and thought it would be the same old requests for his bff to spend the night, or if he could play his video games the next day. 

I wAs WrOnG…

“Moma how did my daddy die?”

[Woooooaaaaaa!]  A battle began between my racing mind and my face that fought to keep calm.  [Is it that time already??? It better not be cuz I’m not ready…….. what to say? what to do? .. Ok, Moma be calm…]

“He was very sick and sad.  He could not be strong anymore.” I said with a calm voice. I had already explained to Zuko a few years ago that his dad was very sick and died from his sickness.  This of course is true from a spiritual and psychological standpoint. I added the “sad” part for some unknown reason….

“Was he sad because he didn’t know if I would be a good boy?”

[Oh God, pleeeease help me through this!  Why did I say he was sad!?]

“Your daddy’s sickness has nothing to do with you.” I said as I placed my hands on his soft cheeks.  “He loved you very much, and yes he was sad that he could not be with us, but your daddy’s sickness had nothing to do with us.  He was already sick when you were born, and your daddy knew you were a good boy.  You were such a good baby from the moment you were born.  Everyone, who met you, would say ‘what a good baby you are.’ ”

“So then, what did he die from?”

At this point I let out a huge breath.  I am not ready to tell him the complete truth, and I don’t know what else I can tell him without having to tell him a lie or just blurting out the truth –neither of which will ever happen. 

 I must have had a look on my face, because before I could think of what to say next, Zuko said, “I am too young to understand.” 

All I could do was say, Yes, and promised that when he was old enough I would tell him.

It seems this was enough for now, but someday I will have to tell him the ugly truth -something I dread everyday. 

Read what really happened here.  I don’t know how my posts got placed on this site, but they are… The posts are from a blog I had a few months ago, when I was just trying out blogging.  I have since close that blog and opened this one…

Since the post talks about it…Here is My Testimony also found on that other site…???

Please remember to leave your comments here

b/c I have no contorl of that other site.

Click the Siggie Below to visit me @ Single MOMA Diaries.

  Blessings.

Single MOM Fellowship

Instead of cleaning my house like I should be doing, I was visiting a few groups on Cafemom.  I found a post originally from another blogging Christian single mom, whom I have bumped into on other sites.  She and I have yet to really become friends, but friendships start as acquaintances right? 

Anywho…

She was asking how the other moms were doing in finding a community of Single mommy friends in their churches.  She wasn’t faring very well (something I know a lot of) and if others had found success. 

So many other mom had sad stories of their churches not interacting much with them, and how they longed to have Godly relationships with women who understood their struggles.  (My heart cries out to these women, as I am now also one with them)

One mother had this WISE responce:

Quoting Devinraysmom:

How long have you been a single mom?  I felt this way for the first couple of years of being a single mom.  This great need to connect with other single moms, wishing that I could fit in at church.. BUT, then I realized  I’m the only one that sees myself as a “single mom”  at church.  Most could care less.  Once I dropped the need to label myself as a single mom at church, building relationships at church became a lot easier and meaningful.  God does not label you,,, and yes,, there are some people that will label you,,, but there are a lot of people that won’t and don’t want to,, and could really careless,  it’s not WHO you are, it’s something that happened to you.

Don’t get me wrong, I have valued my relationships with other single moms, having that in common is HUGE, I just don’t necessarily think that it has to be at your home church.

________________________

Wonderful!  This is exactly the truth!  Hear these words  Single Mom!  Yes we call ourselves single moms, but this isn’t our Name, our Personalities, our Characteristics, or our Faith! 

 It is our circumstance (trial)… and what are we to do in our circumstances? (James 1:2-12)

I call it all JOY that I am a Single MOM!  This JOY is something I almost forgot, something that keeps slipping away from me.  The enemy has been trying to steal this JOY for the past 3-4 years.  This mom reminded me!  Such a blessing to be given back my JOY… and it wasnt exactly for me… but it was!

________________________

Well in this group, the Joy of Motherhood and the blessing of our singleness wasn’t the dilemma for the women who replied.  It was their need for community with those, who share in our struggle. 

 For those of you out there who have this same struggle  …here is my reply :

… So sad to hear all the stories about unChristianly community in some of your churches.  This is something I understand completely, and miss from my church home that has had to close a few months ago. 

I also desire more Christian Single mom friends, but it is difficult to meet up with our varied schedules.  Sad to say more of my Christian friends are becoming single moms these past 2yrs do to an (Oopsie) pregnancy or divorce.

I agree with the above statement!  Well Said!!!

 I have been a single mom for 8yrs… and I felt out of place when I first walked into my aunt’s church over 8yrs ago w/ a baby on my hip and no ring on my finger.  I hung out w/ my aunt and her much older church friends.  They never treated me like a single mom.. they treated me like a Sister-In-Christ, a New Believer, and a young Mother (but I felt out of place in the beginning).  It did help that my aunt signed me up on all of their prayer lists before I returned to my First Love, so they knew my story. 

I realized through these great women, that “Single Mother” was a label I didn’t have to wear!  That Christ took it on the Cross so I didn’t have to!  This was such a blessing and I began to see myself as His Precious Gift, just like I saw my son. 

Then I went on to a church home of my own.  It was a bit younger crowd (what I was looking for) of people that had been in the trenches of their own sins before they each raised their blood stained flags to Christ.  So the friendships were always as a mother and Sister-in-Christ.  Later I was looked at as a mentor by those new wives/moms and single women w/no children.

But now that my church closed, I find I am in the same spot I was 8yrs ago.  The on lookers, the young crowd of singles not interested in befriending a mother, and wives feeling uncomfortable with a single woman around.  I know it is because they don’t understand and don’t know how to interact with me. 

Soon they will see me as I am -their Sister!   When that happens it will be a relief, because it is lonely on the outside.  But it is all in the maturity of the other person, and in how you see yourself (your maturity).  I am a very very shy person, who doesn’t talk to strangers… but  at my old church I  taught the children, and youth, and once at a women’s dinner.   Why!?  because God wants us out of our comfort zone!

Interact with others, be the person you wish would come up to you and hug you and miss you when you skip a Sunday (or Saturday).  Start a conversation with someone and say Hello to them every time you see them.  Join a prayer group, join women’s ministry and mingle.. even if it feels strained and uncomfortable. Find an older Christian woman of great Godly wisdom to mentor and pray for you in your walk.

Buy “Chick Flicks” (<< click for more info) from your local Christian book store (or online) and host a small “Film Christian Study” to get to know people on a more personal level.. create friendships w/ all ages and walks in your church.  You will find you have more in common than you would ever hope, and your heart will be filled even if they are not Single moms. 

Or start a playgroup (<< click for more info) just for single moms, and I bet a few back slid Christians will show up, and you can pray with them and be their Jesus-in-Skin.. and maybe they will return to their First Love. 

Look at all of us… thirsty for human relationship amongst our Christian brothers and sisters!  Be that person you wish someone else would be.  […]

 

Of course I changed my name to Single MOMA, but only after I gave it to Christ first! 

 I know that, who I am does not reside in my unwed motherhood: Who I am lives in, who Christ is molding me to become because of it.

Blessings.

 

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Finding a Church Home

So many months have gone by and I still am a Church Orphan. 

It is so difficult to find a church that has a solid foundation in The WORD.  Too many churches do topical messages and only take a few lines of scripture that add to “their” message.  What is that about!? 

But I guess any message is better than NO message.  Today is the 3rd Sunday I missed church.  It is sad. A bit depressing.  What is more depressing is having a desert thirst and walking out of those “topical” churches – unquenched!

I wonder, if I didn’t have such an Awesome pastor and didn’t got to a Christian College -would I be so parched? 

Maybe. Maybe Not.

A friend asked me to blog about looking for a new Church home, since I am going through this trial (yes, finding a church is a trial), I would like to share some insight on what to look for when looking for a church home.

1. Know what you believe!
   • every Church has their own little emphasis or focus.
   • Knowing what you believe will help you weed out churches that don’t fall in line with what you are looking for in regards to spirituality.  (I’ll go over this in a more specifics one day)
     • Sounds weird!?  I know.. but some churches emphasize Baptism, or the Gift of Tongues.  Others put emphasis on Sin and Condemnation.  Some focus on ritual and try to follow the ancient practices from possibly Jesus’ day.   Some focus on Missions, so ask yourself first: Are you on the path of a missionary? 
2. Make sure the Church reads directly from The Holy Bible.
   • Always bring your Bible to church!
   • Always read along in your Bible when scripture is presented. 
     • Test the Spirits behind the message (1 John 4:1)
     • Test the Message (Deuteronomy 4:2)
   • If the Church’s message does not coincide with God’s Word -Stop Going there!
     • A Church that is not reading God’s word and not teaching or relying on His commandments and promises >> It’s Not GOD’s House!

on’t worry, when you are the house of God that is your Church Home… You will Know! 

3. Most importantly!

Pray

Pray

Pray… 

For GOD’s guidance as to where he wants you in HIS Body to serve and be fed.

I hope this helps you on your path to finding your church home.  I am still trying to attend church… of course it isn’t my home, so I feel a bit out of place.  At least I know I am in God’s house! 

Blessings